Friday, July 23, 2010

In the report stack

You read police reports, you find a lot of interesting material.  As I have often said, you just can’t make this stuff up

I have edited the original report somewhat to protect the identities of those involved. 

B0-068785

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

What's that Beach Boy song...." Good, good, good, good vibrations..."

Anonymous said...

I get the crime alerts for my neighborhood. The case of the disappearing (or appearing) turtles was my favorite. The way the alert was worded I don't quite know if the turtles came or went or if it was a case of human involvement or just a turtle break for freedom, but in any case - police were called!

Kathy J

Anonymous said...

So, someone took a used toy? I would say the thief put it on craigslist. The ad would say, low miles, two owners. Now this is creepy.

Anonymous said...

LOL!

Anonymous said...

I suspect the vibrator had had enough of the "two a days" and was planning its escape. Classy!

dissapointed tax payer said...

this just shows how much little crime LPD has to deal with...the cops are barely 24 years of age and the prosecuters are barely 27 yrs of age... no wonder our court system is stuck in a lets make a deal... because no one knows the laws.... i guess we will just keep cleatus in the squad car and the kids in the office... oh and dont mention the cash "business" of dui's in this town ( max fine + min jail) along with the $250.00 kick backs to the arresting officers from madd dadds and madd moms and other big contributors.....


obviosuly they cant deal with real crime... like 14 dui's ... they gotta worry bout 30.00 sex toys..... good job on "policing the community and keep us safe" tier one works great!!!

Tom Casady said...

tax payer-

Wow! We're getting $250 kickbacks from MADD? Someone should of told me. I must be independently wealthy and not know it!

Anonymous said...

Chief-Thanks for sharing and making me laugh. My investigative skills lead me to believe a neighbor may be involved in the theft and return of the vibrator and tunes. Probably got sick of the Bryan Adams music and hollaring every few hours, and then felt badly about the theft and repented.

It's sometimes strange what people will report to the Police.

As to your disappointed tax payer, I would merely point out that a sense of humor will go a long way in making your life happier.

256

Anonymous said...

Mr. Taxpayer, This shows the broad range of crimes that LPD deals with on a day to day basis including serious crimes. We do it all. That is why we are so short staffed. You get a huge amount of services for your tax dollars. So you shouldn't be "disapointed".
Last I checked, I am in my 40's and the department's age range has a wide variety of ages. So does the prosecutor's office.
The "let's make a deal" isn't because we don't know the law, it's because the system is so strained. You get what you pay for with those tax dollars you supply.
Kickback's to arresting officer's? Chief I'm gonna go back to third shift and start arresting drunk driver's. I want some of that cash cow. Never knew it existed.
Before you spout out your rhetoric on a topic you obviously know nothing about, why don't you go on a ride along with an LPD officer and just find out how hard they work. You would be amazed at what your tax dollar is paying for.

Steve said...

I'd be surprised if "taxpayer" really pays any taxes in this town. Someone with that level of mentality probably can't hold a job (yes, there is an apostrophe in the word can't...do you know what an apostrophe is?).

Anonymous said...

Disappointed taxpayer,

You should check out this page;

http://www.lincoln.ne.gov/city/police/stats/index.htm

The calls on there range from serious and legit, to complete and total waists of time.

The victim of this particular case also pays taxes, and I'm sure she was glad an officer came out to take her report. People want to report all sorts of things. You may think the police should only be used for murders, robberies, rapes, auto thefts etc, but there is a LARGE portion of the taxpaying population that likes to call about less serious things. Obscene phone calls, loud music, a man eating a single grape at the grocery store without paying for it, their neighbor is throwing snow on their yard or in the street, out of control kids (ages 4-10) and much much more.

You're tax dollars pay for more than just a police officer, you get a bundled package of; Psychologist, Parent, message delivery, custodian, baby sitter, body guard, collection agent (at least people try to make it happen), taxi, animal control,a person to yell and vent at, and then some.

Pretty good deal for your cents on the dollar.

Most things could be handled without police intervention, but in today's age, political correctness along with a lack of wanting to confront somebody to just say "hey, can you please stop" gets the police called. Who else answers the phone every time?

Anonymous said...

This isn't as common of a time-and-resource waster as the all-too-frequent suicide threats from people that are mostly looking for attention or just a sympathetic ear. They could have easily self-admitted as a psych patient, but no, they have to call or txt a friend, ex, or family member with some sort of suicidal statement. Concerned about the individual, the recipient calls 911 to report the suicidal call or message, and at that point, the whole machine follows procedure. Police, sometimes LFR, EPC, etc. There's always the possibility that a suicidal party might want to take someone else with them, maybe even a child, or even desire a suicide-by-cop, so you can't just ignore these calls.

To make things worse, some lazy docs prescribe an SSRI or similar drug, which has a possible side effect of - wait for it - suicidal (or even homicidal) ideation! Just great.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Mr. Taxpayer seems to be one unhappy person all around. If I were a betting man, I would bet Mr. Taxpayer has been popped a few times for DWI by officers half his/her age. 256 is right on; a little humor will go a long way.

You keep in mind who you are calling when somebody is breaking in your house, or vandalizing your car, or has assaulted your child!

Only that kind of ridiculous jabber would come from a narrow-minded individual without a clue in life. You just pay your taxes and keep quiet!

Anonymous said...

Wow, "taxpayer"... you think that the police get to pick and choose what is called in?
You say "this just shows how much little crime LPD has to deal with" [sic]- I am not exactly sure what that means, if you mean that LPD has a lot of small crimes to deal with, or that LPD has very few crimes to deal with at all, but either way, they respond to calls that come in, they don't have the luxury of saying "oh, that is small, I don't think we will answer that citizen's (tax payer's) call today!"

Anonymous said...

Chief-I was thinking about the situation in Oakland as I was reading this. I believe the Police out there are forced to say "sorry, report this on the internet, or sorry we can't send officers on burglaries anymore" or whatever. The beauty of Lincoln is that crime isn't so rampant and cuts in personnel are not so deep that officers still respond to calls when the public requests them. No matter how insignificant they may seem. Sometimes you really don't have to look too far to find someone who would appreciate what you have in Lincoln.

256

Anonymous said...

Wow you are a complete buffoon, garsh I didint want to have bad stuff to the really nice lady who was a criminal - illegal alien . just RESIGN and go away

thinblueline said...

Actually, this is very important report to take. The Officer who documented it should be praised. An incident such as this is important to document as this may be an as yet unknown sex offender in mid-cycle, perfecting their (likely his) burglary skills on the way to working up to an offense actually involving a human. Important to know if you have folks burglarizing home merely for sexual trophies and police reports are the way. Conversely, if the reporting party is a whack job then it is equally important to set that record to paper for future contacts b ecause they will be back. Anyone who thinks this report is a waste of time is way off base. Candidly. from an intelligence standpoint I somewhat surprised and disappointed to see a report such as this exposed to the public.

thinblueline said...

Actually, this is very important report to take. The Officer who documented it should be praised. An incident such as this is important to document as this may be an as yet unknown sex offender in mid-cycle, perfecting their (likely his) burglary skills on the way to working up to an offense actually involving a human. Important to know if you have folks burglarizing home merely for sexual trophies and police reports are the way. Conversely, if the reporting party is a whack job then it is equally important to set that record to paper for future contacts b ecause they will be back. Anyone who thinks this report is a waste of time is way off base. Candidly. from an intelligence standpoint I somewhat surprised and disappointed to see a report such as this exposed to the public.

Anonymous said...

Watch much (too much) CSI fantasy shows thinblueline?

Anonymous said...

I believe thinblueline is a retired cop, 4:10, so you just opened your mouth and inserted your own foot. How does it taste?

thinblueline said...

4:10 what I posted was actual free police work donated, with respect, to the people of Lincoln, what you posted was the too much TV.