Friday, October 29, 2010

Protect your pumpkin

No, this isn't a warning about the controversy du jour regarding helmet-to-helmet hits in college and professional football.  Rather, it is my annual warning about the upswing in gourd-related offenses.  It's already started, and the mailboxes, rear view mirrors and car windows are my chief concern.  If you leave the ammo out on your front stoop, you shouldn't be entirely surprised when the vandals take advantage of it.  But the $50 destruction of your mailbox by a pumpkin tossed from a passing car, or a couple hundred for your rear windshield is another matter.  That's a significant crime. 

The chances of catching a pumpkin flinging Grand Am are slim.  The chances that the juvenile offenders will suffer an appropriate consequence and that the victims will be made whole is even slimmer.  Thus, prevention is the key.  The formula is pretty simple.  Protect your pumpkins.  Not so much from theft, but from use to destroy your neighbor's property.  Pull them inside off the steps for the next few nights as you are double checking your garage door.  While your at it, move your daughter's car from the street into the driveway.  Yes, I know you'll have to move it again so you can get out to go to work in the morning, but please indulge me for just a few days.  You'll be glad you did.


Near South said...

I've lost a pumpkin or two off my front porch in the past. Those were just smashed on the sidewalk. I didn't realize they were likely to become anti-vehicle missles.

I appreciate your advice and I'll be following it. I think you deserve a small oval orange medal for being a thoughtful officer in the highest traditions of the police service.

ARRRRG!!!! said...

Bet you thought I'd pick a meaner looking one.

I'm just glad they don't have one of these. I want one though.

Anonymous said...

I can understand the fascination of smashing punkins. I would suggest the juveniles (or adults) that like to see punkins smashed find a PUNKIN CHUNKIN event to attend. There are people who have spent thousands of dollars building devices to fling punkins obscene distances ( think a mile). I am not sure if there are any events scheduled around here this late in the year but a quick GOOGLE might know. This might be a better way for these thrill seekers to get their kicks.

Gun Nut

Anonymous said...

Piero Piero Pumpkin, head of the infamous gourd gang, uses this time of year to get rid of his competition and show he is still the prince of the pumpkin patch.

(Piero means Peter in Italian)

Valerie Oakleaf said...

LOL @ Near South. That was sarcastically humorous.

Thank you, Chief for your yearly reminder. Don't have much problem here in our small town, thank heavens, so you have my sympathy for your problems!

Steve said...

I can't believe we haven't seen a pirate pumpkin yet. Where's Arrrrg when you need him?

Steve said...

Ooops! How did that happen? I missed Arrrrg's comment. Sorry, Arrrrg!

ARRRRG!!!! said...

No problem Steve..... I mean Arrrrg!!!!