Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Tips for parents

A long time ago (in the early 1990’s?) I had a guest appearance on a KFOR radio talk show hosted by Cathy Blythe. We had an entirely impromptu talk about some of the mistakes I saw parents making that led to kids getting into trouble. Near the end of the show, a caller phoned in and told Kathy, “I just tuned in, could you repeat that?” We had already been talking for nearly an hour, and the show was coming to an end, so Kathy told the caller that she’d just have the Chief write it all down and KFOR would make that available.

Great. Now what did I say during the past hour? Nonetheless, I followed up by trying to write down what I thought I had discussed with Cathy. A short document I called “Tips for Parents of Teens” was the result. In the ensuing years, this thing has been circulated far and wide. It’s been republished in who-knows-how-many newsletters, and redistributed widely. I revised it once a few years ago to remove some outdated references to something or another.

Last week, someone called my assistant, JJ, looking for a copy to republish. I thought I better look it over to see if it needed any more updates (it did), then the freshened version went out. It’s still in need of a little modernizing—the reference to “cruising Kings” might have worked for Lincoln parents in 1992, but would be lost on parents of teens today. But here it is, in case you’re curious.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Here's a blast from the past homicide story, wherein you gave a couple of tips for parents. One question I had about this one: Were the victim and suspects residents of the 46th & Cooper region of College View?

Tom Casady said...

6:37 -

Holy cow, you dug that out of some deep archives. No, I don't recall anyone living in that vicinity, and definitely not the victim.

Anonymous said...

I just did a search for "tips for parents of teens casady" and stumbled over that one in the results. I found it especially relevant, because it shows just about the worst that can happen when a teen gets an overly-long leash.

Anonymous said...

Your link doesn't work. Only points to a "google docs" login page.

Anonymous said...

Darn, when I try to view it I get this "Sorry, the page (or document) you have requested is not available."

Anonymous said...

Umm, the link says that the document is not available...

Tom Casady said...

SORRY!! Fixed!

Mary said...

I printed it off; I work with a lot of high school kids in youth group situations, and we always try to support the parents. All these tips are excellent.

Anonymous said...

Oops! I found a typo. In section 11 it should read "under the spare tire" not "under the spare time".

Also (and this is much more picky) it would probably be more accurate as MySpace pages and posts to Facebook (switching the posts and pages references) since the whole idea of MySpace is to have a page that everybody comes to and Facebook is about putting information out there for people to consume.

That said, this is great information. Thanks!

Tom Casady said...

Oops! -

Thank you very much, repaired!

Kurt said...

In referencing the above story, and why these tips are relevant.

"When you get a couple of wanna-be gangsters together with a gun, you get a wanna-be homicide."

That’s an amazing quote ... ha-ha

Anonymous said...

Very good tips. A lot of them are common sense. Of course, unfortunately, "common sense" doesn't seem to be all that common these days...

Steve said...

If my kids weren't already grown up and gone from home, I'd use some of those tips. They came out pretty good, I'm not sure why. I know I wasn't that good when I was a kid. Anyway, I wouldn't argue with any of your tips. Too bad there aren't more parents of younger kids that take them to heart.

I remember 6:37's case, but there was also a case where a body was found in Antelope Creek just south of there by the Pizza Hut that used to be there. His case brought this one to mind, and now I can't remember what the story was on it. Do you?

Tom Casady said...

Steve:

Sure, that was Michael Schmader, just before Christmas, 1995. Cold as all get out, and the detectives worked through Christmas Eve and Day on the crime scene. Never forget how frozen Det. Jim Breen looked. He and Det. Greg Sorensen, in particular, really worked hard on this case over a lengthy period of time.

Drugs and money again. Tough case because of all the lying that went on, but five or six people were ultimately arrested for false information, accessory, witness tampering and the like. Timothy Hopkins was convicted of manslaughter, and is still in prison.

Phillyun said...

Thank you for the updated document. An addition to the #6 item and expanding on [6:37]'s - Only ONE of them intended to rob the guy, the others presumably weren't aware. None of that matters though. Why?
Wrong activity while "hanging out" and poor choice in "friends".

Its this exact incident that led me to rethinking who my "so called friends" are. #6 Digital Breadcrumbs applies to who you choose to hang out with and what THEY do. Period.
It doesn't matter if you are there when they are involved in something because you are permanently linked with their actions and what kind of person they are reflects back upon you.
It is the ultimate "permanent record", its digital, copied, forwarded, backed up and never erased completely.

Steve said...

Chief:

Thanks for refreshing my memory. I grew up near there is why the case was so interesting for me. My brother and I used to run a trap line up and down Antelope Creek from 56th to down near the tank and fighter plane that used to be in the park near the sandstone outcropping where the horses and goats are kept at the current-day zoo.

Anonymous said...

Chief,
I just want to thank you for having this blog. I think it is wonderful that you continually look for new ways to reach out and help the community.

Anonymous said...

I plan to print a few copies of your parental tips and hand them out when I take kids home at 3 am. So many parents ask what they can do and look to us for help and ideas. Is there any money in the budget to make a pamphlet that officers could hand out? It would sure be convenient and I could use it very often.

Anonymous said...

Teens think they are smarter than their parents. Prove them wrong is my motto. I find teens want direction from parents they just act like they don't. Your blog today is inspiring.

Anonymous said...

Is there really such thing as a "Stupid" arrest?
I understand the person who said this is very educated.

Anonymous said...

6:21,

That arrest doesn't seem stupid to me, after reading the complete incident report, rather than the short version. In fact, the arrested individual might have some...three eight issues.