Friday, December 21, 2007

'Tis the season

The police department receives lots of nice Christmas cards. This one caught my eye because it was addressed to me personally (with the usual misspelling), and carried the words "Inmate Mail" stamped in red on the lower left corner of the envelope. The front of the card has a silver foil ornament embossed on a red background.

The inside inscription starts with "'Tis the Season to be Merry, you red-neck mother." The quality of the prose goes downhill rapidly after that, but he managed to fill both sides with invective.

This lovely card comes from a man the Lincoln Police Department has arrested or cited 70 times, booked into jail on 16 occasions, and who's done three prison terms in our fair State. He is now in custody for murder, and has filed his third small-claims court lawsuit of the year against yours truly. What I particularly enjoyed, though, was on the back of the card--it's a Hallmark.

He cared enough to send the very best!


Anonymous said...

Well, it's nice to be remembered, especially during this festive season. However, I don't suppose sending that spicily-written card will so him any great service when it's produced for the parole board at some future hearing. It might not have the impact of this scene...

Donald 'Shadow' Rimgale: What about the world, Ronald? What would you like to do to the whole world?

Ronald Bartel: Burn it all.

...but it'd still put a crimp on the calculation of "good time".

Anonymous said...

Just asking Chief, did you do the "Hallmark" card turn to take a look at the back of the card first?

I would have loved to see a homemade card made from license plates and shanks etched out like the ten commandments.

What do you think about this one... any of the prior 69 times arrested, do you think the courts maybe thought this guy was on the wrong path??? What a waste of air, although, a good taste in cards!

Nikki said...

God bless us, everyone! haha

Anonymous said...

It's really pretty sad that some people decide to exchange curse words or rude remarks with a sarcastic "Merry Christmas!"
Let us all remind ourselves what this season is all about, huh?