Used that title up previously, too. The names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved. Click images to enlarge.
The upholstered furniture ordinance is part of the Housing Code, normally enforced by the Building & Safety Department. I shouldn’t whine about this, because I truly believe that taking care of minor quality of life issues like this really does help in the long run. It just seems so odd to have police officers doing this. But we’re here 24/7/365—unlike the rest of government. So, I’m over it. The law’s the law. Just to show everyone that I’m taking this seriously, I’ve done some analysis on crimes involving couches during 2008 and 2009 year-to-date:
Your map doesn't mention them specifically, but would couch crime also encompass chaise lounges? It's important to know.
ReplyDeleteIt amazes me that someone could be so concerned about their neighbors sitting on the porch that they would require an officer with more than what , 20 or 25 year's experience to come out and talk to the neighbor.
ReplyDeleteOf course, if they had to handle it themselves, I can just hear them scream: "you dirty rat b#@tard, you're sitting on your porch!"
Fart police
ReplyDeleteSounds to me like John needs to get a life, or at the very least, a hobby. I'll bet as a kid he reported to the teacher that someone was looking out the window, or brother was making faces at him. A real sweetheart.
ReplyDeleteAAARGH-
ReplyDeleteI slipped up on that one, and let it through for an hour or two. My bad. No, you bad!
I had no idea couches, divans, chaise lounges and the like were so dangerous. Thanks for the graphic!
ReplyDeleteI was surprised my last one was posted too.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this is an alternative to porch couches.
To be fair, I'll admit that indoor furniture, if used outdoors, would provide an appealing item for small rodents, and we've got enough of those under the best of circumstances. To look at it another way, just because someone has to live in a low-income neighborhood doesn't mean that they want to live in a junky low-income neighborhood. I'll bet that renters are far more likely to porch-couch it that are homeowners in the same area.
ReplyDeleteGenerally speaking, porch couches go hand in hand with a generally trashy, run-down look of the property in question (though not always). When it does, the neighbors, already upset by the junky appearance of the nearby property, finally have something to complain about that might get some action (a generally trashy, run-down appearance on its own is not against the law). They would probably like the rest of the trash/junk picked up, too, but there's nothing they can really do about it. If they knew a little more about the law (city ordinances in particular) they'd realize there are many other things they could call about: parking an automobile in the front yard, paint peeling off the house (more than 50 percent), cars parked across the public sidewalk, dog poop not picked up for over 5 days (or creating a smell or insect problem), that 5-gallon gas can sitting in the front yard (can't have more than one gallon on your property), the barbed wire fence around the back yard, and the list goes on.
ReplyDeleteThere are tons of ordinances on the books intended to protect public health and safety that are not enforced, unless someone calls to complain about them. Most people don't know about them. The couch rule has had a great deal of coverage by LJS, so that's one people know about. The Chief should be glad people don't know about the rest of them, or he'd be getting a lot more calls of this nature.
Anyway, the point is that the people calling probably don't give a hoot about the neighbors sitting on their porch. They just wish they'd get off their asses long enough to clean up the place.
What's the exact wording on that ordinance? Or where can I read that?
ReplyDeleteI have a brand new futon on my covered porch. It's neither tacky or home to varmits, am I still breaking the law?
3:05
ReplyDeleteIt's in 21.01.185, subsection 5.
follow the link I provided in the post to the housing code, then search for the word "upholstered."
You're safe 3:05 IF your covered porch is enclosed by either glass or screens.
ReplyDeleteNot too long ago (http://lpd304.blogspot.com/2009/05/questionable-solution.html) you supported cracking down (or at least not letting up) on minor crimes. I would think that having citizens report such violations would be an important part of such enforcement.
ReplyDelete7:19
ReplyDeleteHello, isn't that what I said in the post? Still seems a little weird, though.
I hadn't heard of the 1 gallon limitation. I often had 20+ gallons in fuel jugs around when I had a boat and jetski!
ReplyDelete8:10 a.m.
ReplyDeleteI ran across the one gallon of gas limitation quite some time ago while looking through city ordinances. Not sure if it's still on the books, or not, but I wouldn't doubt it. You also have to get permission from the city 24 hours in advance if you intend to drive cattle down O Street.
Nobody in a city office makes decisions in 24 hours anyway.
ReplyDelete:)
I have been reading this blog for a long time... and this may be the most humorous. Thank you for a good laugh.
ReplyDelete"Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends ... "
Tonight's cattle drive down O Street has been postponed!
ReplyDeleteLove the map and the table of offenses. Who knew sofas figured into somany crimes! I can picutre the arsons, assaults, and thefts, but I must ask: how can you have fraud involving a couch?
ReplyDelete